


My Heart Laid Bare

by RobronForever (tvlover9)



Series: Music is a window to the soul [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Robert's Aaron playlist, Set before the trial, Slightly drunk Robert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:43:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvlover9/pseuds/RobronForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron finally convinces Robert to give him the playlist, but Robert ends up sharing more then he meant to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart Laid Bare

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this one took me so long, if anyone was waiting for it. I have had no motivation for anything lately. So, hopefully this isn't to bad. I made the playlist on 8tracks which I had never used before so hopefully that works out as well. Link is in the notes at the end of the story. Thanks for reading and listening!

 

 

Aaron scowls at Chas from across the bar. He grabs his pint and thinks about taking it outside, just to get away from her concerned looks, but instead sits with his back to her, ignoring her.

 

It’s bad enough he can’t stop thinking and worrying about Gordon’s trial which starts in a few days, his mum’s definitely not helping with that. He knows if he doesn’t find something to distract himself with he’s going to spiral into the fear and worry. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to force his mind blank.

 

After a few moments his thoughts drift to Robert, specifically this playlist he _says_ he has. He thinks back to last week when Robert had found out about that song and how it makes Aaron think of Robert. Robert had told him that he had a whole playlist that reminded him of Aaron, but so far Aaron hadn’t been able to get it out of him.

A small smile creeps across his face at the memory.

“Hey.”

His eyes snap open to see Robert standing beside his table, smiling down at him.

“You all right?” Robert asks.

Aaron nods.

“Can I?” Robert gestures to the booth across the table from Aaron. Aaron looks down at his beer contemplating what to say.

“On two conditions. One: go get four shots from my mum, and two: no talking about the trial.”

Robert chuckles, “I think I can handle that.” He sets his beer down and heads back to the bar.

Aaron’s eyes track him as he walks away.

He takes a drink of his beer, trying not to think to deeply about Robert and whatever is going on with them. He returns his thoughts to the playlist and how he’s going to get Robert to share it with him. He figures a few shots should help make him more amenable.

 

Robert returns to the table, “She didn’t seem to happy about it, but she’s bringing them over,” he says as he sits across from Aaron.

Aaron nods, “She’s doin’ my head in.”

Robert smiles gently at him, “She’s just worried about you.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, “Ya, I know.”

Robert takes a drink of his beer, “Ok, no trial talk,” he pauses, “What do you want to talk about instead?”

Before Aaron can respond Adam walks up to the table, “All right boys?”

They both nod at him as Chas approaches with the shots.

“Here ya go, luv. You sure ya wanna…”

Seeing the look in Aaron’s eye Robert interrupts her before he can go off.

“Thanks, Chas. I’m sure Adam could use a pint, when you get the chance.” He smiles brightly at her.

She glares at him, knowing she’s being dismissed, but walks away with only a concerned look in Aaron’s direction.

 

Adam shoves at Aaron’s shoulder making room for himself on the bench. “I’m supposed to meet Vic in awhile, but I never turn down a free pint from Robert Sugden.”

Aaron grabs a shot, downing it. He grabs another one placing it in front of Robert.

 

Robert eyes him, “Well, that’s good. I hoped they weren’t all for you.”

Aaron gestures at Robert to drink it, and as soon as he does places another one in front of Robert and the remaining one if front of Adam.

Robert starts to get up, “I’ll get you another, shall I?”

Aaron shakes his head “Na, you’re all right, Adam‘ll get the next round, won’t ya mate?”

Adam narrows his eyes at Aaron, but doesn’t protest. Adam drinks his shot and heads to the bar.

“Don’t wait on my account.” Aaron says to Robert who drinks his 2nd shot of the night.

Adam returns with three shots, setting one down in front of each of them. Robert and Aaron automatically drink there’s, but before he can drink one, his phone chimes. He reads the message and slides his shot glass towards Aaron,

“Looks like that’s me out, Vic’s done early and want’s to go to the cinema.”

He gets up while replying to Vic and looks up just in time to see Aaron slide the remaining shot towards Robert.”

Adam raises his eyebrows at Aaron in a silent question. Aaron shakes his head and waves Adam off. Adam frowns but doesn’t voice his questions, “All righty boys, see ya don’t get into to much trouble.”

Aaron looks back to Robert pushing the last shot closer towards him. Robert takes it and downs it without really noticing.

Aaron signals Charity who’s joined his mother behind the bar for two more shots.

She rolls hers eyes, but brings them over anyway. Sitting down beside Aaron she smirks at him, “Your mum told me not to pour you anymore, but I see you slipping them all to Rob,” She nods in his direction, “and I figure a drunk Rob might be worth a few laughs.”

Robert narrows his eyes at Charity, “ ‘m not drunk.” He protests, slightly slurring his words.

Aaron glares at her and grits out “Aren’t you supposed to be behind the bar, ya know, working?”

“Oi, I’ve been working hard all day, I deserve a break.” She huffs.

He rolls his eyes, “Oh, is that why me mum’s been behind the bar by herself most of the day?”

Charity gets up “I was doing things…hard managerial things, I’ll have you know. So, you just shut it and go back to getting your sometimes boyfriend drunk, while I get back to work.”

Robert looks at the shot in front of him, then up at Aaron, “Was Charity right? Are you trying to get me drunk? You know if you want to take advantage of me all you have to do is ask.”

Aaron’s cheeks turn red and he looks down at his beer avoiding Robert’s eyes.

Robert’s eyes widen as he realizes what he said. He leans closer to Aaron, his voice softening, “I’m sorry, Aaron. I must be more drunk then I thought. I shouldn’t of said that… I didn’t mean to…”

Aaron shakes his head smiling shyly, “I know, Robert, it’s fine.”

He bites his bottom lip, “I’m the one who should apologize… I may have gone a little far with the shots.”

Robert laughs suddenly, “Oh my God, you were going to convince me to give you the playlist, weren’t you?”

Aaron leans back in his seat crossing his arms defensively, “No.” he replies sullenly.

Robert laughs, the sound louder and more exuberant then normal due to the excess of alcohol. “Yes you were.”

He crosses his arms mirroring Aaron, and smiles that cocky grin that Aaron hates (because it causes his body and heart to react in ways he doesn’t want to think about right now) “All right then, let’s neotiate… umm neg…neg...” His smile slipping as he struggles to pronounce the word correctly.

“Negotiate?” Aaron laughs. “I’m not sure you’re in a fit state for that, you might end up giving me your soul or something.”

“You already have my heart, it only seems fitting.” Robert says quietly.

Aaron’s heart skips a beat and then pounds rapidly at Robert’s words, he stares at Robert, unable to respond.

Robert chuckles nervously, “Sorry, let’s pretend I didn’t say that, and get back to the negotiation.”

Aaron picks up his pint and finishes it off, trying to calm his

rapidly beating heart.

He nods, “Ok, umm, you give me the playlist and I’ll buy you a pint.”

Robert laughs, “A pint? Is that all it’s worth to you?”

Aaron huffs, “Fine, you tell me what ya want.”

Robert leans forward, a mischievous glint in his eye, he opens his mouth but before he can speak Aaron holds up his hand, “Remember you’re drunk so think carefully about what you’re about to say.”

Robert’s mouth snaps shut and he sits up straighter. He thinks for a moment, then shakes his head sheepishly at Aaron. “Ya, ya you’re right. Ok, what do I want?” His eyes loose focus as he stares into the distance.

Aaron chuckles, snapping his fingers in front of Robert’s face.

“Rob?”

Robert’s eyes snap back to Aaron “How about one Americano a day for a week?” Aaron asks.

Robert leans forward, “One month.”

Aaron leans closer enjoying the ridiculousness of the conversation, “Two weeks.” Aaron counters.

Robert thinks for a second before his eyes excitedly light up. “One week of Americanos, and you watch the first season of Game of Thrones with me.”

Aaron can’t help but laugh, “Seriously? Out of everything you could ask for, that’s what you want? Me to watch a stupid show with you.”

Robert nods his head, “Yes. Wait. No. I mean, yes that’s what I want, but no it’s not stupid! You know it’s my favorite show, and you’re my favorite person, so it…”

Robert trails off as he realizes how cheesy that sounded. His cheeks redden as he rubs his hand over his face. “God, I really am drunk.” He mumbles.

Aaron smiles shyly at him choosing not to comment on the favorite person statement, “Ok, one week of Americanos and two episodes of the show.”

Robert narrows his eyes, “One week of Americano’s and five episodes of Game of Thrones, but you have to give it a shot and actually pay attention, and after the five if you honestly don’t like it, I’ll never bother you about it again.”

Aaron sighs, “Fine, deal.”

Robert grins, sticking out his hand for Aaron to shake, “deal!”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but places his hand in Robert’s. Aaron’s hand tingles at the feel of Robert’s warm hand in his, he quickly pulls back, once again averting his eyes.

“Let’s go.” He grabs his pint finishing it in one long drink. Robert stares at the muscles in Aaron’s neck, and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. Aaron returns his empty glass to the table and notices Robert’s stare. Robert licks his lips and smiles as Aaron’s eyes follow the small movement. Taking a deep breath Aaron stands abruptly.

Robert startles at the movement, “What? Now?”

Aaron narrows his eyes, “Yes. Unless you’ve been lying this whole time and you don’t really have anything.”

Robert scoffs, “Of course I do, I just, I was gonna dig out my old Ipod and put it on there since, you’ve probably lost your phone again, and are back to one of those old flip ones.”

Aaron crosses his arms defensively, “I have an Ipod, ya know.” Robert smiles, “I know, but I bet you don’t know where it is either.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but doesn’t comment.

Robert stands unsteadily, bumping into the table causing all the glasses to rattle. “Come on then, it’ll only take me a minute to sync it.”

Aaron eyes him, “Sure ya can make it that far?”

“Come on, I’m not that drunk. I may be a little tipsy, but that’s your fault, so if I can’t make it you’ll just have to carry me.”

Aaron laughs, “Good luck with that, mate.” He looks around. “Hurry up, before my mum pops up asking questions.”

 

                                    __________

 

They walk in silence to Keepers Cottage, Robert only stumbling once or twice. As they reach the front door, Robert pulls out his keys. Aaron watches him as he tries to put the key in the lock. After a few seconds, Aaron can’t help but laugh, “Oi, stop laughing, it’s hard to see in the dark you know.” Robert whines.

Aaron steps around him, “First, it’s not that dark. Second,” He grabs the knob easily opening the door, “You know they never lock the door.”

Robert huffs, “It’s very dark, and sometimes they do lock it.” He mumbles as they enter the dark cottage. Aaron flips the hall light on, causing Robert to shield his eyes. “God, that’s bright, is it always that bright?”

Aaron shakes his head as Robert heads to the stairs, stopping at the bottom to stare up them. Aaron watches him as he takes the first step clumsily.

Aaron sighs, “At this rate it’s going to take you forever, sit down and I’ll grab it.”

Robert looks at him, quickly agreeing, “laptops on the desk, Ipod and cord should be in the drawer.”

Aaron nods as he climbs the stairs to Robert’s room.

 

He pushes open the door and looks around spotting the laptop on the desk he walks towards it, but his eyes drift to the neatly made bed. His brain unable to resist calling to mind images of Robert lying in other beds, he takes a deep breath trying to clear the images. As he turns towards the desk his eye catches on a strip of black fabric. He walks to the edge of the bed and lifts the pillow revealing a folded black hoodie underneath it. He reaches out and runs his hand over it recognizing it as one of his that went missing months ago, he was never quiet sure when or where he lost it. He smiles softly as he imagines Robert lying with it in his arms, thinking of him as he drifts to sleep. He puts the pillow carefully back on top of the hoodie and goes to the desk grabbing everything they need, he heads back downstairs.

 

Robert’s slouched on the couch, his head leaning against the back, his eyes closed. Aaron sits the laptop on the coffee table in front of the couch and opens it. He stares down at Robert, amazed by how young and boyish he looks like this, unguarded and peaceful. Not wanting to disturb him just yet, he heads into the kitchen to start the kettle. He returns a few minutes later sitting the cups down beside the laptop and taking a seat beside Robert. He opens his mouth to wake Robert when he notices the screensaver on the laptop. It’s a picture of him and Robert, he remembers Robert nagging him into taking it and a few others the week he stayed at Home Farm. The picture changes to one of him sleeping, he leans closer unsure when the picture was taken. As he stares at it he realizes it’s the hotel they stayed in together all that time ago, his breath catches at the thought that Robert had taken such a picture even back then.

Robert stirs beside him and Aaron bumps the computer not wanting Robert to know he had seen the pictures.

Robert groans and Aaron turns to him, he gestures to the cup in front of Robert.

Robert sits up and grabs the cup taking a sip, “Thanks for this. Sorry, I must of fallen asleep.”

Aaron shrugs, “It’s fine, I was about to do it myself though.”

Robert sits the cup down and looks at the laptop nervously, seeing nothing open he relaxes and reaches for the Ipod plugging it in to the laptop. He clicks the mouse a few times, staring at the screen.

Aaron clears his throat, “You were going to give it to me whether we made that deal or not weren’t you?”

Robert grins at him, “Yup, but you’re getting it a day in advance, if that helps.” He clicks the mouse again and sits back with his cup.

Aaron scoffs at him.

The computer dings and Robert gestures to the Ipod “There you go, 12 songs that make me think of you.”

Aaron picks it up and looks at the screen “12? There’s 55 songs on here.”

Robert frowns, before realization sinks in and he lurches towards Aaron, grabbing for the Ipod. He grunts as hot tea splash’s on his hand. Aaron leans back, as Robert drops the cup on the table.

Robert looks at him, “Uhh, here, let me see it, I must of done something wrong.”

Aaron frowns at Robert and looks back at the Ipod, “The playlist is called Aaron.” Robert nods, avoiding Aaron’s eyes, “Uhhh, ya that’s the wrong… It’s supposed to be just the first 12 songs, For Aaron playlist, not Aaron playlist, just give it to me and I’ll fix it.” Aaron narrows his eyes at Robert. “Robert, what’s going on? Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m not acting weird, I’m drunk remember. Just give me the Ipod Aaron.”

Aaron sighs, “I hate it when you lie to me Robert.”

Robert stares at him, “Ok, fine. I’ll tell you. It’s not that big of deal, I just, I didn’t think, “He stutters, looking away from Aaron and rambling nervously. ”with where we are right now, that you would want to hear some of them. Some of them are more about how… how you make me feel, or umm, how I feel about you, and ….us.”

Aaron swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry, he reaches for his now cold tea and takes a big drink. Setting it on the table, he looks back at the Ipod still in his hand, and glances at Robert. “What if I want to hear them all?”

Robert’s eyes snap to Aaron, “Aaron… I… you know…” He sighs, “If that’s what you want. I just didn’t want to push something you aren’t ready for.” He looks at the laptop where the slideshow of pictures of him and Aaron has started again. He reaches out to shut the laptop. “I told you I’d wait Aaron and I meant it.” Aaron grabs Robert’s arm to stop him from shutting the laptop. “I know.” He whispers as they sit together watching the pictures flicker across the screen.

“So,” Aaron asks quietly, “Can I listen to the whole thing?”

Without hesitation Robert nods, “Yes.”

Aaron bites his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks at Robert.

“But, no judgments! Just because there is a song on there from someone doesn’t mean I actually like that person or anything. A lot of it came from Vic. After the shooting she gave me her IPod to use in the hospital, and… anyway, most of them are about the lyrics, not the song. Some are really cheesy… just… try not to… I don’t know… you can, ya know, text me or whatever if you want to talk about any of them or anything. Oh, God, I’m just going to stop talking now.”

Aaron laughs, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous before.”

Robert sighs, “It’s just, my heart on my sleeve or something, right? I don’t want to scare you away or anything.” Robert clears his throat nervously.

Aaron stands eager to get home and listen to the songs. “Thanks, Rob. Not just for this, for everything.”

Robert smiles shyly up at him. “You’re welcome. Hopefully they at least help you sleep, or something.”

 

 

                                    ______________

 

 

Aaron stretches out on his bed with his earphones in, he pushes play on Robert’s Ipod and settles in.

3 hours and 23 minutes later he starts to laugh as he uses his sleeve to wipe tears from his eyes. Leave it to Robert to make him cry for over 3 hours with cheesy, sweet, ridiculous, amazing declarations and then leave him laughing with “I wanted everything at once, until you blew me out my mind, and now I don’t need nothing.”

 

He sits up and pulls out his earphones. Staring at the IPod, he flips through the songs thinking about all the things Robert could have been saying with the songs. He bites his bottom lip and stands, going over to the window he looks towards Keeper’s Cottage, trying to see if Robert’s light is still on. He wants so badly to talk to Robert, but a part of him is afraid. Afraid, to let Robert all the way back into his heart. He looks at the IPod again, lines of songs running through his mind.

 

_I'm never gonna let you down_ __  
I'm always gonna build you up  
I'm never gonna walk away  
I'm always gonna have your back

_If the sky is falling, just take my hand and hold it._ _You don’t have to be alone_

_You came along like a lightning bolt from heaven,_ _then you stole my heart and you set me free_

_Loving you makes me a better man_

_I know that we're both afraid_  
We both made the same mistakes  
An open heart is an open wound to you  
And in the wind there's a heavy choice  
Love has a quiet voice  
Still you mind, now I'm yours to choose

_The scariest part is letting go_  
'Cause love is a ghost you can't control  
I promise you the truth can't hurt us now  
So let the words slip out of your mouth

 

Aaron turns from the window, throws the IPod on his bed and grabs his phone and hoodie as he slips quietly out the door of his room, down the stairs, and out the back door of the pub.

 

As he walks towards Keepers Cottage he pulls out his phone and sends Robert a text

 

A: You up?

Almost immediately he receives a response.

R: Yes. You ok?

A: I’m outside.

 

A few moments later Robert’s face peeks out of his curtains, spotting Aaron he disappears.

 

R: I’ll be right down.

 

A minute later Robert slips out of Keepers Cottage pulling on a coat over his t-shirt and sweats, his hair stick up like he’s been running his hand through it. Aaron can’t help but grin as his disheveled look.

Robert hurries over to him. “You all right?” Despite the small grin on Aaron’s face, Robert can see the tear tracks.

Aaron looks at the ground, “Ya, did I wake you?”

Robert buries his hands in the pockets of his jacket, as if to keep from reaching for Aaron. “No. Couldn’t sleep.”

They stand there unspeaking, Aaron staring at the ground and Robert staring at Aaron.

 

“Did you listen…” Robert starts at the same time Aaron says, “Did you mean…” They both stop talking, waiting for the other to speak, an awkward silence surrounding them.

Robert chuckles, and in the gentle voice he seems to reserve only for Aaron says, “Ok, Aaron, we are both being ridiculous. What’s up? Are you ok?”

Aaron relaxes, looking up to meet Robert’s eyes he nods. “I… I’m fine, I just wanted…needed to know. Do you mean it, the things in those songs? Do you want to be with me… for real, like out in the open… with everybody knowing, even after everything… everything we did to each other and everything you know about me?”

Robert takes a deep breath and steps closer to Aaron.

“Aaron, I told you, I miss you. I want to be with you and I don’t care who knows about it, we can put up signs around the village if you want. Nothing can change the way I feel about you especially not what he did to you! I love you, Aaron, and I’ll be by your side for as long as you’ll let me.”

Aaron clenches his fists in the sleeves of his hoodie, and turns away from Robert, afraid if he looks at his open, sincere beautiful face for one more second he’ll fall into his arms sobbing.

Robert shoulders sag and his head drops to his chest as Aaron turns away from him. He forces himself to not move, not reach for Aaron and beg him not to leave, knowing he has to let Aaron go for now, trusting he’ll find his way back when he’s ready. He holds his breath waiting for the sound of Aaron walking away from him.

“I love you, too” Aaron whispers.

Robert’s head snaps up, an unbelieving smile spreading across his face, he takes a step towards Aaron, reaching out to touch his back, he stops as Aaron speaks again.

“But, I’m scared Robert. I need to be able to trust you, to rely on you.”

Robert swallows hard and steps around Aaron to face him.

Reaching out he wipes a tear off of Aaron’s cheek. “You can, Aaron. I promise. I won’t let you down, not again. I’m scared too, but we’ll take it as slow as you want, and we’ll figure it out together, ok?”

Aaron stares into Robert’s eyes for a few long moments, before he nods and his eyes dart to Robert’s lips. “Ok” he whispers as Robert’s lips meet his in a soft kiss so full of promises it steals their breath away. When they part, Robert unwilling to move to far from Aaron presses their foreheads together and whispers, “Wanna come in? We could maybe get some sleep, before that sister of mine gets up at the crack of dawn, banging pots and pans around.”

Aaron laughs, “Sure, sleep sounds good.” He bites his bottom lip looking at Robert as they walk side by side towards the cottage. “Maybe we could listen to some music, you could explain to me what you were thinking with that last song.”

Robert lets out an amused huff as he opens the door gesturing Aaron inside, “I’m pretty sure that one was self explanatory, mate.” Robert smirks at him.

“I’m not your mate.” Aaron snipes back.

Robert’s face lights up in the brightest smile Aaron’s ever seen from him. “Nope, you’re not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Robert's playlist for Aaron can be found at
> 
> [My Heart Laid Bare](http://8tracks.com/robronforever/my-heart-laid-bare?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button) from [Robronforever](http://8tracks.com/robronforever?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button) on [8tracks Radio](http://8tracks.com?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button).


End file.
